Happily.

Eleven months have passed since my last post. In that time my 2- and 3-year-olds turned to 3- and 4-year-olds. Maiya mastered potty training in about a second and timidly started preschool several months later. Haven started to clearly write his name and started his second year of preschool. They are both dancers, and they are best friends. Haven sings almost nonstop, his feature hit is the Lion King theme over and over. And over. And over again. Maiya is confident about what she wants in almost every situation. Haven has an unbiased love for all electronics and Maiya has an equally liberal love for puppies. I could write facts about these two forever. You might stop reading, but I wouldn't even notice.

There are two new members in our family. One is about 9 months old, one is unborn. One has ears that hang low, the other has ears which are developing. This time last year Dave and I were deciding if we would add a puppy or a baby to our family. We decided on both. We like to live on the wild side. What's a little chaos when there's plenty of love, right? It turns out that it's still chaos. But not the worst kind.

Nobody mentioned to me exactly how different a third pregnancy would be. I not longer believe that certain pregnancy experiences indicate a girl or a boy. I've had both and this is a whole new experience. Perhaps God is fashioning just the third child I planned. The one with the easiest traits from Haven and Maiya plus sleeps like a champ. No? You don't think that God is creating a human being based on what is easiest for me, the mother? It's not all about me?

Anyway. I wasn't really expecting my body to find new and exciting ways to surprise me. After an emergency c-section in which the epidural failed and then getting pregnant with Maiya about a breath (or 7 months) after Haven's birth, I thought my body had offered me enough stories to tell. Most things with this pregnancy are for girls nights only (or for endlessly complaining to my husband while he patiently smiles and nods), but I will share that the doc recommended a maternity belt to help hold my belly in a normal place. You see, nobody suggests a maternity belt when your tummy muscles are being stretched for just the first time. Or the second. I mean really. I need a belt to hold up my belly? Awesome. Good thing I did all that abdominal strength work last year. T-o-t-a-l-l-y worth it. Unfortunately and fortunately the maternity belt does make me more comfortable. God bless those of you with four, five and six children. Really. No sarcasm. May God bless you.

That is the snapshot of our now. It is lovely. Well, at least it is lovely right now. At night. When the loudest members of the family are sleeping. We watched Cinderella tonight and I remember the first time I saw it. I was captured with the idea of true love and happily ever after. I really couldn't wear glass slippers at this point, but I like what my happily looks like.

Bedtime

Yesterday my little boy turned 4 years old. At his bedtime tonight, I read Oh the Places You'll Go! as he fell asleep. His head was on my shoulder and he pressed the Xbox Lego Batman game case to his chest.

"I'm going to cuddle with Lego Batman tonight," He explained, as we curled up in his bed.

I have never read Oh the Places You'll Go!, nor have I ever cried myself through a children's book quite so much. Haven was tired from partying late into his birthday night yesterday, so he was asleep before I read "...except when you don't, because sadly you won't, I'm sorry to say so but sadly, it's true that bang-ups and hang-ups can happen to you" which is good. Because all I could think about was how this book is often a graduation gift. One day my boy will be turning 18 and not 4. He will trot out into the world and sometimes things will go well for him and sometimes they will not. One day there will be bigger successes, but there will also be bigger disappointments. I gulped back tears as I finished the book.

I remember after our many talks during my childhood my Dad would often sum up with, "I just really love you, hon" as his eyes welled with tears. At the time I thought crying was a strange reaction to telling me he loved me. But I get it now.

So, here's to ups and downs and supporting one another. And a little happy dance that Haven turned 4 (and not 18) yesterday.

Few thoughts...

I love reading this blog. It might have something to do with the two main characters. I'm a little bit in love with them. My favorite times with them are reading before bed and having dance parties. I also really love the moment Haven sees Maiya and I when we pick him up from preschool. He runs to us, hugs and kisses us.

Life is a little busy, but I spend my days with a 2 and 3 year old, so they have a way of slowing life down. It takes a half hour to get shoes and coats on and walk to the car. In the few hours a week that I'm not with them, I have two part time jobs: therapist and teacher. Both of these jobs are hauntingly similar to motherhood in that they require a level of patience and insight that I am constantly reaching deeper into myself to find.

Efficiency is sort of the theme of my life. Instead of trying to get more of everything, I'm trying to better manage what I already have. The reality is that we have enough for right now. Enough money. Enough space in our house. Enough time. And yes, enough kids. Could we enjoy more of all that? Sure. But I understand now why God wants us to manage small things before we have more.

More soon.