As requested, here is the story of Haven's birth. If you've already read it or heard it ... why not read somebody else's blog today. There are some good ones linked to the right. I wrote this a while ago...Haven was born one week ago today. I want to write about The Experience that was his delivery, but I'm not sure I can without first discussing how amazing it is to be Haven's mom. Everybody told me that I would be captivated with this little infant, but I had difficulty believing I would fall in love with a tiny screaming person. I guess it is one of those things you just get when you get it. Thanks to a myriad of hormones, I could just cry any time by looking at that tiny, wrinkly face. He's amazing. Remember that slogan from some diaper company - it's the hardest job you'll ever love? So true.
Now I will get on to the delivery. I believe after last Sunday I will look at all physical pain and laugh in its face. Relatively, nothing will ever compare (I hope).
I am not quite sure how long I was in labor, since the contractions started so mildly, but I was at the hospital over 14 hours before Haven was born. The nurses set me up on a bed, strapped me to the monitors and poked me twice until the IV was in the right place. How sweet it is that I thought that IV needle was painful. So naive.
By mid afternoon I had strong and regular contractions and was ready to award huge trophies to all women who have delivered naturally. I asked for the epidural and from watching A Baby Story obsessively, I knew I was in for an uncomfortable bridge to relief. The nurse helped me to hunch over as the anesthesiologist inserted the epidural needle. Did you know you can’t move an inch while the tube is inserted into your spine? Sounds simple, but it’s kind of a bummer when contractions are cramping your style one after another. I hope I didn’t break the nurse’s hand.
A moment later I asked the nurse, “Did I stop having contractions?”
”No,” she said eyeing the monitor, “You just had a big one.”
“Sweet!” I laid back on the bed and let my body work as I slept.
Around 9:00 PM it was time to start pushing. I pushed for about two hours (through the Super Bowl) and this was surprisingly simple. (Listen girls, when you’re about to have a baby, unless you feel an obligation or a reason to go naturally, just get the epidural when you arrive at the hospital. I could still feel; I just did not feel any pain.) The doctor ultimately suggested to me that I get a C-section since the baby was not coming through the birth canal and his heart rate declined each time I pushed. Dave and I conferred and agreed.
Enter Pain. It is a little gray right now, but we think the epidural tube slipped during a transfer between beds and the pain killer was not, shall we say, effective, as I was ripped, er, cut open. Let me back up for a moment.
First of all, when I was transferred to the surgery table my arms and legs were strapped down. I could have easily panicked, but I tried to focus on seeing the baby in just a few moments. Breath, two, three, four, breath, two, three, four… Masked people swirled around me and the anesthesiologist poked me a few times and asked if I could feel it. I could, but it was bearable. They let Dave come in then and he looked cute in the scrubs and his eyes were warm above the surgical mask.
Now I will get on to the delivery. I believe after last Sunday I will look at all physical pain and laugh in its face. Relatively, nothing will ever compare (I hope).
I am not quite sure how long I was in labor, since the contractions started so mildly, but I was at the hospital over 14 hours before Haven was born. The nurses set me up on a bed, strapped me to the monitors and poked me twice until the IV was in the right place. How sweet it is that I thought that IV needle was painful. So naive.
By mid afternoon I had strong and regular contractions and was ready to award huge trophies to all women who have delivered naturally. I asked for the epidural and from watching A Baby Story obsessively, I knew I was in for an uncomfortable bridge to relief. The nurse helped me to hunch over as the anesthesiologist inserted the epidural needle. Did you know you can’t move an inch while the tube is inserted into your spine? Sounds simple, but it’s kind of a bummer when contractions are cramping your style one after another. I hope I didn’t break the nurse’s hand.
A moment later I asked the nurse, “Did I stop having contractions?”
”No,” she said eyeing the monitor, “You just had a big one.”
“Sweet!” I laid back on the bed and let my body work as I slept.
Around 9:00 PM it was time to start pushing. I pushed for about two hours (through the Super Bowl) and this was surprisingly simple. (Listen girls, when you’re about to have a baby, unless you feel an obligation or a reason to go naturally, just get the epidural when you arrive at the hospital. I could still feel; I just did not feel any pain.) The doctor ultimately suggested to me that I get a C-section since the baby was not coming through the birth canal and his heart rate declined each time I pushed. Dave and I conferred and agreed.
Enter Pain. It is a little gray right now, but we think the epidural tube slipped during a transfer between beds and the pain killer was not, shall we say, effective, as I was ripped, er, cut open. Let me back up for a moment.
First of all, when I was transferred to the surgery table my arms and legs were strapped down. I could have easily panicked, but I tried to focus on seeing the baby in just a few moments. Breath, two, three, four, breath, two, three, four… Masked people swirled around me and the anesthesiologist poked me a few times and asked if I could feel it. I could, but it was bearable. They let Dave come in then and he looked cute in the scrubs and his eyes were warm above the surgical mask.
The surgery began, and for some reason I could feel each cut. The doctor and I had a conversation about pain versus pressure, but I was certain I recognized the feelings as pain. It felt like a struggle to remove Haven, but maybe that’s just how it goes with a C-section. As I yelled, the doctor and anesthesiologist mumbled some words to each other and the anesthesiologist said something about, “I don’t know…I tested her.” The rest is a blur of “I can FEEL THAT!” and “ARE YOU ALMOST DONE?!” The anesthesiologist was right behind me saying over and over, “The baby will be out soon and then you’ll be fine.” I looked over at Dave and gripped his hand more firmly.
As soon as Haven was out, I heard the doctor say that it was, in fact, a boy and I asked why he wasn’t crying. A moment later I heard him shriek and then everything turned into a cartoon. They knocked me out since I was in so much pain.
When I woke up the nurse told me Dave was with the baby and I was so glad they were together. They brought me into the room where Haven was and I saw him getting checked out. I was still very groggy, which added to the dreamlike feeling of seeing my son for the first time. The nurse brought him to me and laid him on my chest and I just cried looking at his perfect face. I have been in awe since.
This first week of motherhood is full of emotion and joy and excitement, but I have gone on for a very long time. Dave has astounded me with his patience and skill with Haven (and me!) all week. If you’re still with me, thanks for sharing the story with me.
Happy four-month birthday,
my little munchkin boy!
my little munchkin boy!
4 comments:
Isn't it amazing how fast you fall in love with this little being. Its a totally different love than you have for your spouse, yourself, or anyone around you. I would lay down my life for my children! Happy four month birthday Haven!
Thanks for posting this! It's wonderful!!! Well, not the pain and cutting part...but, you know, the end result. :)
You've got to be kidding me!! Let me get this straight, you FELT the C-section? And the doctors thought you were teasing? Thank God it was all for that little cutie of yours! Good-ness!!
It was a great read, even a second time--although a terrible read. I hate the whole pain thing.
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