Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Haven



This is the face of an angel. Yes, I'm one of those moms. Shamelessly proud of my babies. I finished the post about Maiya and could not stop thinking about all I would write in a post about Haven. So here I am again.

This child brings so much laughter to our family. I've mentioned before his love for music. Before I put him in his crib I sing him a couple of songs. If I sing a song he particularly likes, he says "More?" every time I stop to take the quickest breath. Jesus loves me this I know - inhale - "more?" for the Bible tells me so - inhale - "more?" and so on, throughout the song. It makes me laugh every time.

Today was his first alone play date. I told him a few times in the car where we were going and that I wasn't staying with him. "And Maiya?" (He always wants to know if Maiya will be present as well.) I explained he would be there with his friend and her mommy. He had a fun time and was in a great mood when I picked him up.

Somehow, he is almost 2 years old. He has little fits, but generally he's mild mannered. He loves to help and he has two chores: feeding our cat and putting dirty diapers in the trash can. He loves to watch football with Dave. He loves to play catch and says "good catch!" and "good throw!" He sleeps with the little stuffed characters from the Backyardigans and calls them his "guys."

He's dramatic - how could he not be with us as parents? If we tell him no his whole face scrunches into the saddest little expression for a moment (maybe he's hoping we'll change our mind?) and then he cries. He's distractable though. Usually "The Wheels on the Bus" song cheers him up in no time. Distractions, prevention and positive reinforcement have been the most effective discipline techniques with him so far.

I love this little guy. Can't stand how cute he is sometimes. I'm so proud of the little man that he is.

Maiya


I took Maiya for her six month check this morning. My little bean is already halfway to 1. She's a healthy 19 lbs 7 oz. Almost off the charts. I asked the doctor how I will know if she's nursing enough since she nurses less frequently since she started solids. He just looked at her and smiled and said, "She's nursing enough."
She loves to eat food. She attacks the spoon. She leans so far forward toward an incoming spoonful that she would fall out of the high chair if she weren't strapped into it. That's my girl.


She falls asleep by herself, which is great, but staying asleep is another issue. Almost every night she wakes an hour after I put her down and she screams. Usually she wants to eat and then hang out for a while. She then she goes right back to bed without a problem. I don't know what's up with that, but, I know won't last forever.

She doesn't roll yet, which seemed to alarm the doctor a bit. I told him candidly that Haven didn't roll until he was 6 months old. It's nice to worry less this second time around. I know now that once she starts moving, that's it. It's a whole new world of chasing and vacuming and babyproofing.

Last night I brought her to our bed when she woke up sometime after midnight. She was nursing and I was almost asleep. I glanced down at her and her huge greenish-brown eyes were wide open staring at me. Then she swung her head around and looked at Dave. We thought she was falling asleep, so it was funny to see those eyes popped open, looking at everything. Maybe you had to be there.


I just want to remember all of this cuteness.

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Home Sweet Stayin' Home.

Merry Christmas Eve! This is our first year to stay home, just our family, at our house for Christmas. I'm so excited. It's not that we have mounds of gifts to exchange and we'll probably have a simple dinner, but I'm happy to spend the day with my little family in our little house. I can't help but be thankful for what we have. Love. Health. A white, though melty, Christmas.


Last weekend my Dad, stepmom, sisters and their plus- ones came to our house to celebrate Christmas. Here is the gang: Charlie, Phil & Dave, Jessica, Rebecca, me, Dad, Haven, Gail and Maiya.





Merry Christmas, everyone!

Thursday, December 18, 2008

One day I will write it all here.

Okay this picture has nothing to do with this post, but I think it's hilarious. Every morning Haven asks me to put Maiya in his crib (not in so many words) before I get him out. So, one morning I snapped a picture. They were both still waking up, I guess.

It is not 7 o'clock in the morning yet. This is not a time when I am typically awake. Haven and Maiya have been sleeping until at least 8 o'clock for a while now, so when Maiya woke up for the day at 5:30 this morning, it took me a while to accept it. She is in the bouncer now, playing gently with the dangling toys and smiling at me whenever I look at her. I think she's sleepy. I know I'm sleepy. I also know I'm spoiled to think that I should get to sleep until 8 o'clock in a house with two kids under two years old.

Throughout the week so many things run through my mind. They are topics I would like to further explore here. I want to sit and type them out until they're clear. However, I barely have time to think a complete sentance, much less publish a paragraph to my blog.

Anyway, here are two topics I hope to write more about soon. They're on my mind.

First of all, my experience in yoga. I've only gone for about a month. I knew I would love the stretching and balancing exercises, but I was curious about the spiritual aspect of it. I feel like God is showing me a lot through yoga. Nobody has to agree with me, but that's what I feel. Not to mention, the room is quiet, my kids are taken care of, so, it's very easy to pray and listen for God. When I am at peace, relaxed, tranquil, it is because of my hope in God. It's because I know Him and trust Him. It is only natural to me that that is where my mind would rest when the teacher suggests that we consider how we are doing spiritually.

Secondly, I want to write about parenting. I want to list what I know so far (maybe just so that I can get a laugh in the future). The more parents I meet, the more parenting styles I find. I, like any parent, want mine to be right, at least for my children. I do feel that I know some things, though. I somehow manage to feel semi-competent most days. I know where my resources are and I use them. I have clear goals (give my children a good self image, set them on the path to know Jesus, teach them responsibility, teach them to enjoy life, etc). I also learned a few things getting that degree that's gathering dust on our desk. So anyway, I want to write down my parenting philosophy, mostly to see how it changes over the years.

Well, more on all of that soon. I hope.

Tuesday, December 09, 2008

Three cheers for Maiya Adisen!


I am excited to announce that Maiya fell asleep last night in her crib without one single cry. I sang her a song, put her down and she drifted off to snooze land. Way to go, little sweetie. I'm so proud of you!

I'm also thrilled for myself.

The next few days will be spent working on a daily schedule that I hope will yield a well-rested little girl.

This is my life. It's a good one.

Tuesday, December 02, 2008

Happy Thanksgiving


If we can drive to Florida and back with two children under age 2, we can do anything. Dave and I, we're invincible. Bring it on, world.

That is not to say we weren't beat on Sunday night. We pulled into our driveway, motion and fast food sick, after nineteen hours of driving. I should clarify that Dave drove while I fended off tantrums with snacks, elmo, songs, more elmo, books, and play-it-again elmo. "I guess road trips are when you throw all of your parenting skills to the wind." I said to Dave, when we, after a brief stop, had bribed Haven to get back in the carseat with a lollypop. He sat in the backseat, his perfect lips turning blue from his first lollypop experience.



Maiya's first Thanksgiving!

We spent Thanksgiving week with Dave's parents, in northern Florida. Granny spent lots of time holding Maiya and playing with Haven and the kids enjoyed tour after tour of Grandpa's farm. Dave and I got to out alone - we got haircuts. It was so great to be with family and I remembered how nice it must be for families who live closer to eachother.



Maiya's induction to a game-playing family.

















My little boy who could not walk the last time we were there, this time incessently begged to go see the ducks, to go outside and sprinted and jumped his way through the week.
















A highlight of the trip for Haven.






Maiya's first reading lesson with Grandpa.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Tummy Time Blues


Sometimes we just need a buddy to hang out with us while we cry.



Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Progress


I can calculate our progress by remembering doctor visits since Maiya was born. At those first couple of check ups, not only was I unable to remember percentiles spouted to me by the nurse, but we were late and unbathed. Haven was unable to cross a parking lot holding my hand because he was just too slow, so I hooked Maiya's car seat around my arm and him on my hip. I lured him away from various no-nos with whatever snack was in the diaper bag. When Maiya got her shots, they both howled. Some memories of their babyhood will be okay to forget. Today, we began what I hope was an upward trend. We were on time. We were all wearing clean clothes. I had even showered. Haven walked into the office. He played contentedly in the waiting room. In the exam room I had to discourage his kissing the monkeys on the wallpaper, but otherwise, he safely entertained himself with a toy car throughout Maiya's check. When she got her shots, she screamed for just a moment and puckered his lips and dropped his eyebrows in a frown, and then returned to the toy car. Sometimes aging is beautiful.
In other news, my exercise classes prove to be awesome. They're worth the weekly hour of babysitting torture (I exagerate) to attend them free. So far I've taken one pilates class and one yogalates class. I took ballet for many years and the difference I see so far is that pilates aims for strength and balance, while ballet pinpoints precision and competition. I have to say at this point in my life, I strongly prefer the former. The classes are a little bit like going to a spa that not only relaxes, but brings fitness back to my life. I'm sure I will write much more about this soon.
In closing, I send many wishes for a happy, happy first birthday to baby Lauren!

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Girls just want .... to be held.

That goes for my girl, anyway. Unless she's asleep - and in the deepest of sleeps - she prefers to be in my arms. If she's not, she is happy to provide a whiney cry that will progress to a shrill scream if I do not answer promptly.

Hungry? No. Needs a change? Nope - dry as a bone. Tired? Sick? Teething? Oh baby, I just don't know.

I would like to empty the dishwasher or bring the dirty laundry downstairs. Or, maybe, write a blog entry without her sitting in my lap, gumming my arms. I guess this is too much to ask.

All day I make the choice between holding her and getting nothing done or putting her down and listening to her scream. When she cries, Haven says, "Noooo, nooo."

Okay, just discovered a baby hickey on my arm. That's all for now.

Friday, November 07, 2008

Parenting books, anyone?

I'm interested in reading some parenting books and would like to get a few suggestions. Of what I've read so far, I agree a lot with the books from Focus on the Family.

Two topics I'd like to read about:
  • Discipline (a loving, well-rounded approach).
  • Handling this tolerant world - teaching kids to both show love to all people and to maintain our own values and morals.

I'll take suggestions on other topics as well. I'm planning to read Bringing up Boys by Dobson next. I prefer books with authors who have some decent credentials - either formally (MDs, psychologists) or informally (successful parents). Please tell me why you liked the book and its title.

Thanks!

Wednesday, November 05, 2008

I love my Dad.

My Dad lives about a 3 hours drive away from us, and I don't get to see him as often as I would like. This past weekend, we went for a visit. Here are some pictures from our weekend, taken by Gail, my stepmom.




At the zoo...
Maiya & Me.
Dave & Haven
Our fam...



My Dad & Maiya...


About my Dad....
  • I can have a different opinion than his and he neither backs down nor tries to change my mind.
  • He cooks delicious food for me (with the exception of the eggs with scotch while I was pregnant, which he will never live down).
  • He laughs easily and often and loud.
  • I've never felt like I had to try to impress him - just being me is good enough.
  • Through his life he's taught me that time together is the best gift, I hope to pass this on to my children.
  • When I was growing up, he worked long and hard with little to spend on himself. Although he enjoys buying himself some toys these days (that is, fancy knives), I don't hear him complain about the years he raised us. He calls us, his four kids, his investments.
  • When we were growing up, he always concocted some herbal potion for us to drink when we were sick. Since we were homeschooled I never realized that most girls, when they had menstrual cramps, took Aleve and not a cup of crampbark tea.
  • How did your Dad embarrass you when you were a teenager? Mine practiced sword fighting in a dimly lit family room. Beat that.
  • He proudly identifies himself as a redneck. How a kid who grew up in Queens calls himself a redneck, I don't know, but he will always be 99% hippie to me.
  • He's strong, solid and reliable. And he attended all of my dance recitals with a bouquet of flowers in hand.

This would all be written more eloquently if I didn't have a baby squirming in my lap. In closing, I love you, Dad!

Tuesday, November 04, 2008

Goody Gumdrops

I feel like I got three wishes granted....


We didn't buy a crib for Maiya because we assumed she could transfer to Haven's crib and he could transfer to a toddler bed. However, Haven is content in his crib and we would like to leave him in there as long as he's willing to stay. Since it will only be a few months until he is able to climb out of the crib, we did not want to buy a second crib for that short interum. Yes, I realize I just wrote a long post about the joys of cosleeping, but Maiya can't nap in a swing forever. So, I stumbled on a wonderful online network where people give and take things for free and there I was able to get a free, used crib for Maiya. Commence wish number one.

I've been looking for a part time job. I want to use my degree so much - I studied psychology for so long because I love it. However, I am as picky as a job seeker can be in terms of scheduling. That's made it tough to find a position in this job market. Yesterday I had a phone interview for contract work in which I can take positions on a case by case basis. In other words, I could work 1 hour a week or 20. I could work only at night or only on Saturday. Totally flex. And, I'll be using that degree I just completed! Commence wish number two.

I have fond memories of being in shape. Not being thin specifically, but being able to walk around the block or climb a flight of stairs without gasping for breath. Of being able to touch my toes without bending my knees. You know, the things that are tough with a) a pregnant belly or b) pushing/carrying the weight of two children under two and all of their junk. I love to walk for exercise, but it's getting too cold to take the kiddies outside for long stretches. Anyway ... there is a local exercise studio that offers babysitting. If I babysit during a class once a week, they will give me free classes all week long. I plan to go meet the woman at the studio tomorrow. Hopefully H&M will be there normal cool, collected selves and the woman at the stuido will agree that I can handle a roomful of kids for one hour. Almost commence wish number three.

Sometimes it's just so easy to be thankful.

Friday, October 31, 2008

End of October...

The weather is turning too cold to take my babies outside. Especially here, this winter wonderland we found just 5 miles up a mountain. I think that the geese have flown to Florida anyway, so goodbye to our number one outdoor activity for the past month: feeding stale bread to possessive geese. We are stuck inside these walls and I am left considering which walls we could turn into windows.

My daughter will be four months old soon, but she's been sporting size six month clothes for weeks. Endearing is the only word that begins to describe her, with that riveting grin and fluffy hair. Sometimes when I change her clothes she just starts to laugh because she is so ticklish. She watches Haven like he has endless wisdom to give. He watches her like he's got endless love.
The elections are in a few short days. As I dubiously rose the topic of politics in various conversations, I found that some people think the words American, Republican and Christian are synonomous. This disturbs me. I have also found that some people care as fiercely about politics as I care about God. Interesting. I believe I've chosen who to cast my vote for, but I am both easily swayed and cynical. Both candidates are so good at looking sincere and patriotic. I guess that's part of the job.

Oh, today is Halloween. I just realized. I never celebrated Halloween as a child, unless you count dressing as Queen Esther for Halleluia Night. But that's another post and I have a feeling most of my readership could tell similar stories.

Monday, October 20, 2008

Bring it on, people.

Editor's Note: Wow! Thank you for a remarkable response to this post. I appreciate the time each of you spent to talk to me about your views. Dave and I had a great time reading over the comments and looking up various topics online. The countdown is on and it's time to make a decision. Thank you so much! ~ Jen



It's 2 weeks until election day and I am an undecided voter. There are things I like about each of them, there are things I dislike about each of them. If you're passionate about one candidate or the other, here's your chance to try to win another vote for him.

Issues that matter the most to me:
  • Health care for Americans
  • Limitations on abortion
  • Education for Americans
  • Environmental preservation
I'd also love to see poverty abolished, but I'm not sure that's the government's job in a capitalistic nation.

Anyway ... I don't promise to tell you who I choose and feel free to comment anonymously.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

mama bear gone loco

Me: What's that noise? It sounds like something got into the garage.

Dave - riveted by The Office: It's nothing.

(loud banging, too loud for a mouse or a cat or a raccoon....)

Dave - standing by the front window: It's a bear trying to get to the garbage in the garage.

I look out the window to see, literally, the Mother Bear hauling it's gigantic body down our driveway. It had been slamming its body against our garage door, trying to break it down. I'm just happy I wasn't down there doing laundry at the time.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

There were three in the bed and the little one said, roll over, roll over...

As the mother of two, I've developed a new level of confidence. Equipped with knowledge that comes from, though minimal, experience, I feel I can parent Maiya with an ease I did not have with Haven. This confidence led me to spill to a couple of new friends that Maiya sleeps with us at night.

For those of you without children, this is not information one usually divulged unless it is to a close friend with a baby, both of whom are in desperate need of a good night's sleep. Even then the fact is practically whispered.

The best part of admitting to other parents that we cosleep is finding that many people do the same, they just keep it on the down low. Hush hush. We don't tell the doctor and we don't tell most of our friends. Once I spilled, though, these new friends told me about their own co-sleeping ventures, the guilt and glory of it.

I decided to do a little research. I picked through a few websites to find out about the perks of cosleeping. I already knew what most American sleeping "experts" say about it: it's dangerous, lazy on the parent's part and sets the child up for poor sleeping habits. Since my son sleeps great through the night in his own bed and has since he was about 1, I don't subscribe to these anti-cosleeping beliefs.

I found some pretty awesome stuff about cosleeping! I read that when a mom and baby sleep together they go through sleep patterns simultaneously. So when mom sleeps deeply, so does baby. Also, the baby takes cues from mom's sleep pattern. If she breathes deeply, the baby mimics. I don't know how much of this is scientifically proven, but I tried this yesterday morning before Maiya woke. When I took a deep breath she immediately followed with her own!
Cosleeping in other cultures in completely normal. Moms in South America are probably keeping it to themselves when they put their baby in a crib. Interesting fact (which I found in one of my textbooks) is that in countries where cosleeping is the norm, there are far fewer reports of sleeping troubles than there are here in the US.

To me, cosleeping during the early months makes perfect sense. As the baby is learning to trust, mom and dad are always present. Then, as he or she gets older and starts to develop a sense of autonomy it seems like a logical time to gradually transition to independent sleep. Of course, as in most areas of parenting, this transition is easier said than done. I realize cosleeping isn't for everyone, but it works for us. Haven slept with us until he decided to make his first initial in our bed (sleeping horizontally between us, forcing us to the far edges of the bed). When it's time to move on, we'll move on, but for now, we 're enjoying our little cuddly girl in our bed.

Wednesday, October 08, 2008

8 Things on my 28th Birthday.

1. We have 2 cars, the nice newer of which I get to drive and our older, paid off one Dave gets to drive. While I love the security of driving a car that isn't going to break down, I have a special place in my heart for our older car. I guess it makes me feel young or carefree or something.

2. In the fall I like to leave a pot of simmering apple cider on the stove so that my house smells like Autumn. It reminds me of going to Lindsay's house (well, her parent's house) and feeling cozy and happy.

3. I am giving up on bangs because in 90% of the pictures of me from the past 5 years my bangs are covering at least one of my eyes. I don't keep up on haircuts enough to manage bangs and I accept that.

4. As some of the leaves fall from the trees around our house I can start to see our lake again and in the daytime it looks likes diamonds coming through the forrest.

5. I'm so glad I grew up in a family with four kids. I love the concept of big families but from where I stand it sounds daunting to have my own. I guess getting through those early years is the most challenging.

6. I hope we get rid of our bearded dragon soon (any takers?). He smells, has a growth and is generally grumpy ... but endearing like Oscar the Grouch.

7. We've lived in our house almost a year! Congrats to us for making it!

8. I believe this year is going to be amazing in a simple, contented way.

Monday, October 06, 2008

It's time

to tell you the story of Maiya's homecoming. Three months have past, and I can laugh about it without crying. Again.

Throughout my pregnancy, I looked forward to the hospital stay that would follow Maiya's birth. I longed for the three or four days of rest. The image of the nurses at my beckon call and the plan to stay in bed kept me going on some of those hot summer days. I was ready to live up my hospital stay. Yes, I thought it would be like a vacation.

Maiya's birth was smooth. The c-section was painless (unlike Haven's) and I was so calm that I watched the doctor stitch my incision in the reflection in the operating room light. She came out, cried, was healthy and Dave accompanied her to the infant room as I recovered. I watched the clock for the hour I had to sit in the recovery room, and then pestered the nurse until she brought me my baby. She was amazing, tiny, and precisely what I wanted in my arms. Beautiful. Haven and my sister came later to meet Maiya, everyone was happy and lovey. That was Wednesday.

Thursday was holding Maiya, a few visitors, resting, eating and a walk to the bathroom.

I cannot explain what hit me on Friday, but I decided I had to go home. Had to. Hospital Vacation was over. I asked the doctor if I could leave. Lucky for me, he said, "In my country some women go home two days after a c-section. You have to promise me you won't do anything but lay down for a couple of days if I do release you." Yes, of course, yessir, you got it. He signed my release papers. Truth be told, I could have used another night in the hospital. I missed Haven and Dave, though, and I wanted to be together. I didn't just want to be together, we had to be together. I guess I can tell you what hit me on Friday: hormones of the post-pregnancy type.

It was about 6:00 PM and Dave came to the hospital with Haven for what was planned to be a brief, pre-bedtime visit.

"Let me just see if they'll let me go now." I got out of bed, which requires the upper body strength of a he-man after a c-section, and limped to the nurse's desk. When I got to the desk I asked if I could leave. I realized then that I had failed to mention to anyone except that one doctor my plans to leave two days early.

"Oh, really? You can't stand us anymore?" Her attempt at a joke was lost on me.

"I just miss my son."

"Aw, how old is your son?"

"Seventeen months." And the waterworks came then. They were unstoppable, and apparently motivating. It was like with my first sob the entire office was moved to action.

"Okay! We'll get you out of here. Let us just do the paperwork we need to do..."

I cried my way back to the room. The nurse came in a moment later to say they would do a blood test on Maiya before we could go.

Haven was ready for bed. The crankier he became, the more Dave held him, and then, the more an odor began to fill the room.

"Oh my gosh." Dave set Haven on the floor to find poop on his own shirt and up Haven's back. "Great." He settled in to clean it all up and discovered we had no diapers. We asked the nurse for a diaper and about fifteen stinky and sticky minutes later they produced a few diapers from the pediatric ward. Unfortunately, they had no clean t-shirt for Dave. So, as we waited for Maiya's blood test results Haven ran through my hospital room in a t-shirt and a borrowed diaper, alternating between crankiness and abundant curiosity. Maiya slept soundly in the little crib.

Dave packed up all of our things, not quite sure why I had to go home tonight, but wise enough to not question it too much. I limped around the room picking up a couple things to give the impression that I was helping, but mostly, the tears continued to flow and blocked my view. I saw Dave dressing Maiya and realized she was not going to wear the coming-home outfit I packed for her. This made the crying worse.

A nurse came in, and with one glance at our little guy, at me, (and probably one whiff of Dave) she said, "I'll see if we can get those results quickly."

Maiya was finally released and Dave hauled everything out to the car. When we were all finally in our seat belts and ready to leave, I was still crying and Haven was whining. "Can we just have fun, please?" Dave said.

This image of us will stay in my mind. It's funny. Well, it's funny now, now that my emotions are slightly less eruptive.

Wednesday, October 01, 2008

Snapshot.


Maiya loves eye contact. Sometimes she's fussy simply because she wants somebody close, looking at her, focussing on her. She gives an amazing reward when she gets that attention; her smile. She's not too fond of the Bumbo seat and would rather sit in the bouncer or, especially, in somebody's arms. She now loves to wiggle her body on the floor and listen to all of the noise her big brother can make. She loves the outdoors. An amble out to the deck will calm her instantly. We went to feed the geese at the lake yesterday, and she smiled and smiled as she listened to the geese squawk. She absolutely loves the front carrier. It's another instant calmer. She has captured our hearts with her complete dependance and I-know-what-I-want personality.




Haven suddenly and completely loves trucks. We bought him a big Tonka dump truck this weekend and he cannot get enough of it. It sits next to him at meals, it waits in his room while he sleeps. It's not a ride-on truck, but he flips up the back and scoots around on it. He loves real trucks and yells "tu! tu!" repeatedly in the car, regardless of my response. He also likes songs with hand motions and knows all of the motions for the Wheels on the Bus. He learned (and I relearned) a bunch of preschool songs at story time at the library. He puts two words together occasionally, but regardless of the size of his ever-growing vocabulary, he gets his point across! At night, he kisses everybody then walks into his bedroom. He loves Elmo - Elmo's theme song, Elmo on TV, Elmo in a book, Elmo in a store, Elmo on his shirt - he is a total Elmo boy.
My baby is a toddler and turning into a little boy. I and think about it with pride and awe.

Our days are split between story times, play groups, naps and walks outside. When Daddy comes home we celebrate, we eat and we play. This is the first time in my life that I realized each day is hauntingly similar, but I don't find myself craving something more exciting.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Vacation station.


We did it! Our first family vacation.

We, and our friends Janet, Andy, Andy J and Connor, drove to the Outer Banks in North Carolina where we rented a house and r-e-l-a-x-e-d. With a hot tub and a pool right on the property, it took us a couple of days to make it across the street to the ocean. We indulged in sea food, we took in the sun, we had time to sleep and to breath.

There are a few highlights of the trip and one was the night Dave and I went out. Alone. Buh-bye kiddies. We hopped a ferry to a Ocracoke Island (population 800) and ate sea food at a restaurant called the Back Porch. The breeze and bikes reminded me of the Bahamas.

There is a bunch more to say, but Not-So-Little Lungs is calling. There are pictures on our family website.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Two Kids.

"I've pretty much lost control of my life." I hear myself telling my friend, "But it's good."

The thing about losing control is the realization that I never had it in the first place. I just had time to maintain a nice dellusion.

Both of my children are asleep, which I hope becomes more regular in the weeks to come. During the day, when it's just me at home, they like to do relay naps. Thanks, guys, no, I don't need a moment to myself.

I remember the realization hit me like a backhand slap when Haven was an infant - motherhood is a sacrifice. It is also a million wonderful things, but let's face it, people, it's a sacrifice of you-name-it. Body, sleep, career, time, money, showers.... When I was in YWAM the theory about challenges was that God was trying to teach something. I can think of as many lessons I need to learn as projects on my endless to-do list. I'll put it this way: I never realized how flawed I am until I became a mother. I don't say this to insult myself, I say it solemnly, with the realization that we are raising little mirrors.

On a lighter note, Maiya smiles all the time now. At all of us. I caught one on camera and it's on the sidebar. Haven loves her and this morning he entertained her while I did my morning hygiene routine (brushed my hair and teeth). The sweetness between the two of them is great.

Wednesday, September 03, 2008

quick one-handed update





music fest.














lake day.


















zoo day.










more when maiya remembers the joy of long naps again.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

The Plea of Breastfeeding Mother.

Maiya Adisen, we have got to talk. As you might have noticed, I am at your beckon call 24 hours a day. I have nourished you with my own body since the moment your life began, 11 months ago. Yes, I have left you three time since your birth, but when you're older you'll understand how much a couple of hours out alone means to a mother of an infant. In other words, I am working very hard to take care of you.

So I have one simple question: Why will you only smile at Daddy?!

I realize you have a wonderful Dad - I picked him out. Yes, I know he works hard to take care of you too. I realize you look like him. I get it - the father/daughter bond starts very young! But have ya noticed who rolls out of bed at 3 o'clock AM (and 1 o'clock, and 5 o'clock and every o'clock) to give you whatever you want? How about one, tiny flicker of a smile? Please. I will beg. I'm begging.

Monday, August 25, 2008

Can't get enough


I know that some of you check our family website, and this picture is there as well, but I just had to post it. I know she's my child and I should just politely say "thanks" when somebody says she's cute. But I can't help it. Look at this little cutie!! She looks more like Dave than Haven, but I must say that I'm thrilled to see those big cheeks on her!

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Normal Things

After my exam at my 6 week postpartum check up, the doctor said, "Okay, everything is back to normal." I can only assume that when he said "everything" he meant to say "nothing."

A few days this week I have enjoyed more than stressed about the gigantic responsibility to TWO babies. I still don't know what to do when they're both crying, besides join in on the tears, but I'm working that out through trial and error.

Yesterday the three of us made it all the way to Brooklyn to visit Jes. I'm very proud of myself since I was working off of four hours of sleep. We walked around, had a picnic and I identified the various strollers we passed (in Brooklyn nobody owns your basic travel system). We made it home with just a short bout in bumper-to-bumper traffic with Maiya screaming her heart out and Haven saying "mo, mo" as he munched goldfish crackers. Maiya was soothed when I shut off the air and opened the windows so she could hear the oh-so-soothing sounds of New York City. Overall, two thumbs up for us.

I already have only faint memories of our family without Maiya. She just fits. She goes. She's just the person we were waiting for. She loves to cuddle, accepts Haven's less-than-dry kisses, loves fresh air and can howl like a coyote when she wants something. She took her first bath in the big tub last night - with me, sorry, no pictures - and loved it. We are waiting for her first "social" smile with baited breath. Everytime I think I see one, she spits up. What a little joker.

So, we're redefining our normal, and the definition is coming along just fine.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Maiya's World























Okay, so far so good. The first month of my life hasn't been too bad. Lots of eating, sleeping, my parents seem nice....


















Oh no! He found me! How do I get outa here? Where can I go?!


















No, no more kisses! No, please! Put that tongue away!! Okay, okay, I love you too!

















Listen, Mr. Innocent Face, the day will come when I can get outa this stinkin' Boppy and slobber all over YOUR face! Got it?




Wednesday, August 06, 2008

August Days

We all could use a bath. I wonder what would happen if I plunked the three of us in one bubble bath. I picture Haven baptizing Maiya in bubbles. I picture shaving my legs while balancing an infant. I am confident that a bath is more likely to result in injury than in cleanliness. I decide to do it the old fashioned way, which is, not at all.

When Maiya pulls away, I lift her, pat her back for what feels like eternity, until she produces a ripe burp. Later, Haven burps in my face as I sing to him at nap time and I almost vomit. Maiya's burps however, still the result of nothing but breast milk, are almost sweet. She falls asleep with her ear pressed against my chest and my heart beat lulls her deeper into dreamland. Moments later, I lift us from the couch and Haven follows from his perch next to me. I put Maiya in her bed cozied by a pillow at her back. I look at Haven, who has already moved on to explore the one place in the kitchen where he can get to some pots. With a deep breath, I whisper a thankful prayer that I did not crumble into tears an hour previous when Haven was inconsolably whining and Maiya was happy with nothing less than my holding her.

Our house is unusually quiet, as our month-long string of visitors has just ended. I decide that after few days without company we will find the rhythm of a routine again. Actually, it may take weeks. The realization hits me as I finish the dishes I have already started three times this morning. I turn off the faucet to see pans strewn through the living room and the silence is interrupted by the crashing of two lids, a toddler symphony. I wonder if there is a childproof lock for the drawer beneath the oven.

We will take small steps these next few weeks. Cleaning the dishes might be a victory some days, and baths a revolution.

Friday, July 25, 2008

Sleep and dates and other good things.

Maiya slept four hours straight two nights in a row. I think it was four hours. All that I can be sure of is the lack of dread I felt when I heard the birds start to sing at day break. That dread was replaced by a feeling that brings profound nestalgia. What's it called again? Oh yeah. Feeling rested.
Dave and I got to go out last night to dinner and a movie. We ate our current favorite restaurant - an busy Irish place close by. During the movie, my mind wandered to calculate the number of ounces of breastmilk I left for Maiya compared to how many hours I would be away. Of course, all calculations were for naught as I have no idea how many ounces she drinks while she's nursing. So, I returned my attention to the movie. Which was great. We saw Dark Night and while I only agreed to see it for Heath Ledger's riveting performance as the joker, the whole movie kept my interest. Anyway, it was wonderful to get out with Dave and have some time alone. And Maiya was just drinking the last of the milk I left her when we got home. It all makes me wish we had a regular babysitter so this could be possible more than once or twice a year.

The night was made possible by .... my mother-in-law and nephew, Brandon, who are visiting for a couple of weeks. They teamed up to watch Maiya and Haven while Dave and I painted the town red. Their visit has been lots of fun and Haven is fascinated by his older cousin. He can't get enough of that boy. When Brandon plays the Wii, Haven takes out an extra controller and just stands next to him. See that look of admiration on Haven's face?

Now Dave and his mom are taking in a baseball game on tv. Haven is asleep. Maiya is discovering the bliss of the swing. We let Brandon loose in the kitchen with a brownie mix. I think I'll just go cut myself a nice big piece before another night begins. Here's to another 4-hour stretch of sleep!

Friday, July 18, 2008

Baby Days

Today is my first day alone with two kids. Yikes. So far so good. But we've only been awake a couple of hours. One perk to having these two so close together is that Haven is young enough that he still needs at least one long nap a day, and sometimes two. Alas, I have a few moments to write (at the expense of a neat house, but whatever).


I lifted this picture from my Dad's website, courtesy of my stepmom's photography skills. That's me, my Dad and Maiya, and my sister Rebecca with Haven.


I've been reading in all of my spare time - meaning, the middle of the night. I just finished Made in the USA by Billie Letts. She also wrote the book-turned-movie Where the Heart Is. They're fun reads. At about 2 AM last night I started a Jodi Picoult book. Her books are usually pretty intense. I'm so tired I can barely put a sentance together, so please understand why these are not more thrilling reviews.


What else? The nurse laughed yesterday when, at my check up, I asked about birth control. I had just lugged two babies up two flights of stairs, put Maiya's carrier on a shelf where Haven could not reach and tackled Haven into my lap so he would not explore the trash can labled Medical Waste Only. I could hardly breath. You'd think I might ask, "How much weight, exactly, can I lift without my incision ripping open?" Nope. I asked about birth control. I quickly added, "I love these guys" and smiled broadly. I wanted to go on to explain that I think I will be a the best mom I can be if I have a few years off from making more babies, it's not that I don't like babies, I love them, I just want to be a good mom, help me, please! But I figured that was too much information for a nurse I just met.

Okay. That's all for now. More coffee please.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

ramblings

Maiya is two weeks old today. Already?

So far my mom and two sisters have each visited for a few days, easing the transition from a family of three to a family of four. It was fun to see them care for Haven while I was suspended to the couch, nursing Maiya. I see traces of myself in each of them and I think Haven appreciated the familiarity. The amount of support we've had these past two weeks is astonishing. Meals, rides, diaper changes, cleaning and laundry were all part of the help. Though my recovery from the c-section has been swift, I cannot imagine having had all of those things to handle alone.

Haven's adjustment to Maiya has been relatively smooth. I could not tell what he was thinking until one morning, a few days ago, when he and I were the first ones awake. I got him out of his crib and he ran out to the living room and looked in Maiya's car seat and then in the bouncer and then up at me - confused. Yesterday, when I took a moment to check my email, I saw Haven traveling between his bedroom and the pack n' play - where Maiya napped - back and forth, back and forth. When I looked in the pack n' play, Maiya was surrounded by her socks. Haven can reach her sock drawer and must have thought either her feet were cold ... or she needed to keep her socks out of his room. Hope it was the former.

Maiya looks a lot like Dave's side of the family, I think. She has jet black hair and long fingers and toes. I think she especially looks like Dave's mom. What a beautiful girl, if I do say so myself. It's hard to describe how I feel about my little girl. I think so much about the things that we'll do in years to come, I imagine what it will be like for her to have me as a mother, I think of all of the things I hope that she finds in me. I think of the things that I want to help her to develop: a relationship with God, a good body image, confidence, how to pick friends, a sense of humor... She's lying in my lap nursing right now. Looking at a new baby is as close as we can get to a glimpse of the future.


So, I feel much more relaxed in the aftermath of this pregnancy than I did in that of Haven's. What I appreciate most is that I do not dread the night. I know what it will be. Long and relatively sleepless. But I also know that these sleepless nights are a temporary phase. Now, with two, the nights are my only alone time with my baby. I can stare at her endlessly without guilt that I might be neglecting Haven. I can hold her and change her and feed her and burp her with no interruptions. The nights are our special time.


Additionally, I am not as blindsided by the looks of my body after this second birth. Of course my arms are riddled with bruises and my abdomen is puffy and wounded and my eyes are dark with fatigue. Of course. But it is temporary (except, maybe, the puffy abdomen). Maiya will not always weigh less than 7 pounds. She will not always nurse 4 times a night. She will not always nurse. I am going to enjoy this season. As I watch my 17-month-old son tear apart the house I nurse his sister, I am aware how quickly this infant stage passes. I just want to treasure it.

I realize this is not the attitude I may have tomorrow, or in an hour, or at 3:30 AM, but generally this is how I feel - all is good. This season is one to embrace.