Magic Carseat Ride

Where you at 3:45 am on the night of July 30? Driving around town, praying Haven would finally fall asleep.

"Two babies went home early with fevers yesterday." The teacher told me as I filled Haven's bag with bottles and dirty bibs. I tiptoed through the room in my heels, maneuvering around baby toes and toys. She had called me at work to pick him early due to a fever.

Germs. One of the great joys of daycare. When Haven got his first cold (from one of his snotty-nosed little friends) I felt so guilty for subjecting him to these germs. I confessed my guilt-ridden thoughts to Danna and she quipped, "It'll build up his immune system" and dismissed the topic. What a nice friend. She's always told me Haven will be fine at daycare and I think she's one of the few people in my life who truly believes this. She's a great source of sanity.

After feeling sick for two days, by last night Haven's sleep schedule was completely off. He took a few catnaps through the night, but before 2:00 AM, he looked like he thought it was morning. Dave and I tried everything we could think of to put the little H to sleep. I nursed him. Dave bounced him. I bounced him. We let him cry. We gave him a bottle in his crib. We put him in his bouncer and turned on the vibration. We cycled his legs to let out any gas. I prayed very specific prayers: God, please let him be asleep by 2:25 and then sleep until 6:00. I tried to reason with Haven, in the off chance he could understand, "Mommy and Daddy are very tired, if you could just..."

We kept up this charade for two hours. He would not be silenced.

Finally, I pulled on a pair of jeans, grabbed the keys and carried Haven to the car. As I turned the car on to the highway, I could hear him hum as he does when he's resisting sleep. This was a battle of will power and I would not be outdone by a 5-month-old. This child was going to sleep if I had to drive to New York City and back.

The roads were empty. I drove through the town where my friend's husband is a cop and hoped he would pull me over so that I could commiserate with him. I zipped through usually-congested areas of town. I looked longingly a homes where all of the lights were off; people were sleeping. I found it strange that the radio sounded the same as it does during the day. As if the night is a real time. I thought about driving to the hospital where Haven was born and asking the nurses if they'd like to reunite with him for the night.

Finally, his humming turned into deep, breathy sighs and I turned toward home. I hauled the car seat up the stairs and into our bedroom, left Haven in it and crawled back to bed. Dave thanked me and returned to snoring. My eyes were wide against the ceiling until I convinced myself to fall asleep since I had only 2 short hours until my alarm would sound.

When I went to see Haven for lunch today, his teacher said he took a 2 hour nap that morning. I bet he did. Any room in that crib for me?