Back in the driver's seat

Our front door has a large glass panel and Haven spends a lot of time sitting next to it in silence. Deep, brooding silence. I once went running through the house because I could not find that little boy, and found him there, staring out the door.

After we eat breakfast each morning, he has a little alone time. He plays alone and I check email and do the dishes. He is accustomed to this routine, and rarely gets into things that are off limits during this time. He looks through his books, tosses the big legos around, plays with Crickett or as I mentioned, looks out the door.

Last week I realized the importance of alone time. For me. I have to find moments in my own day to go sit in a peaceful place and have deep, brooding silence. This is impossibe if my little boy refuses to nap. I was a ball of tension by the end of last week.

My child thrives on routine. T-H-R-I-V-E-S. I know, most kids do. Most humans, do, actually, we adults just like to think we're too free-spirited to benefit from a routine. We went back to the nighttime routine and he slept through the night two nights in a row. I'm talking 11 hours. Yes, we had to endure some sobbing from his room, but once the sobbing ceased, the tranquility that filled the house was priceless. It was a little bit like taking the parental reigns back from a 1-year-old. He awoke refreshed and the grumpy boy who has been skulking around the house is gone. Sleep can do wonders for a personality.

This morning he fell asleep in his crib for his first-ever independent nap. Here's our little routine, which we abbreviate for naps: Pajamas, diaper change, cuddle with Mommy or Daddy and the 3 B's (blanket, bottle, book). Listen to a story about love and peace, drink your warm milk, pray for the people we love. Get in the crib. Good night, love bug.

I have to admit, it is much easier to sit in the counseling room with a stressed-out parent and out-of-control teenager and teach the parent about consistency than it is to listen to my son cry while he learns to sooth himself. It is so much easier to make a behavioral plan than it is follow through with one. This is a good lesson in practicing what I preach and in empathizying. It is not easy to do the opposite of what your child wants. Actually, what's harder?

PS - I started another pregnancy blog. The link is on the sidebar.