Through my internship I was able to watch different counselors work. I noticed that a lack of confidence on the counselor's part broke down the relationship almost immediately. I learned as a counselor I would not know how to help everyone, but with two tools, I could smooth the transition from novice to helper. The first is to know my own limits and the second is to know how to get the help the person needs.
I have found that so many of the things I learned in my experience and education as a counselor are applicable to parenting. I think God knew I needed some training, and He timed my education and the start of our family just right.
I am becoming aware of what I can give to my children. The weight of it is tremendous and the impact immeasurable. There are limits to what I can do well and it will be advantageous if I work as hard as I can within those limits. When they need things outside of those limits, it will be up to Dave and me to learn, grow or find help. As long as I remain aware, I can maintain confidence. I can stand tall. I will do the best I can with what I have; this is a mantra my Dad taught me.
Confidence is a huge thing for a mom. Not just the benefit to her own mental health, but specifically in training her kids. I remember putting a giant, floppy hat on Haven's head last Summer. It was goofy-looking, but it protected him. I tied it under his chin and he looked at me doubtfully. I stepped back and told him he looked very handsome. He smiled and wore the hat proudly. If Mommy says it's cool, it's cool. (Parents of teenagers: I get that this changes, I'm going to go ahead and lap it up while I can.)
I want confidence to be a gift that I give to my children. I want them to be aware of their unique strengths and weaknesses. Often we focus too much on one or the other, most of us on the latter. What a beautiful thing it is to see ourselves for who we are. May you recognize your strengths today, may you respect your weaknesses, may you grow and walk in confidence.
4 comments:
Wow, Jen. This was a really insightful and encouraging post. Thanks!
I could never get my kids to wear hats! I'm not sure that my kids ever accepted my word as gold either. I think you are awesome!
jen, i love this post. it's also a good time to tell you about a book that i just finished that i think you'll like -- it's called 'letters to a young therapist'. if you get a chance let me know what you think.
I know how you feel! it's amazing to see the way that our children are affected by our affirmations.
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