a vague little update

I had a particularly taxing day yesterday, on which I won't elaborate. Do you ever just feel stripped down, and then, a little bit nervous to look in the mirror?

I am reading Captivating by John and Stasi Eldridge, an uplifting book that has sent me with a pen and fury to my journal several times. It is so different than the assigned A Practitioner's Guide to Rational Emotive Therapy for my practicum class. This book began by explaining the philosophical base of the RET approach to counseling. The philosphy is that by subscribing completely to science and excluding all belief in God, there is hope for happiness. I clenched my jaw and plowed into the second chapted while chanting to myself, "This could help me understand how the other half thinks."

Back to the good stuff. My friend Rachel gave me the book Captivating for Christmas a few years ago. I started it a few times, but thought it wasn't my style. Too mushy or too much emphasis on gender roles. Somehow, it got my attention, or maybe God got my attention on this read. I pick it up tentatively; it is revealing.

In my life, I am learning something about God. A million things. I do not often talk about what I think God is teaching me while I'm in the process. I think I do this because I'm jaded. I've seen so many Christians tout around "God said..." and in time, it becomes clear it is not at all what God would say. It's easy to convince ourselves of things we want to be true. I like the Bible verse that talks about Mary treasuring the things God told her, silently. She just waited to see his promises unfold. I know there are times to shout it from the rooftops, I guess this is not a time like that for me. As vague as I am with these words, is almost as vague as whatever it is that God is trying to teach me. I think it is something about grace.

I will write soon all about Haven's wonderful birthday. My baby boy is one. You can see photos on our website www. the[insert our last name and add an s] dot com, or email me and I'll send you the link.