There were three in the bed and the little one said, roll over, roll over...

As the mother of two, I've developed a new level of confidence. Equipped with knowledge that comes from, though minimal, experience, I feel I can parent Maiya with an ease I did not have with Haven. This confidence led me to spill to a couple of new friends that Maiya sleeps with us at night.

For those of you without children, this is not information one usually divulged unless it is to a close friend with a baby, both of whom are in desperate need of a good night's sleep. Even then the fact is practically whispered.

The best part of admitting to other parents that we cosleep is finding that many people do the same, they just keep it on the down low. Hush hush. We don't tell the doctor and we don't tell most of our friends. Once I spilled, though, these new friends told me about their own co-sleeping ventures, the guilt and glory of it.

I decided to do a little research. I picked through a few websites to find out about the perks of cosleeping. I already knew what most American sleeping "experts" say about it: it's dangerous, lazy on the parent's part and sets the child up for poor sleeping habits. Since my son sleeps great through the night in his own bed and has since he was about 1, I don't subscribe to these anti-cosleeping beliefs.

I found some pretty awesome stuff about cosleeping! I read that when a mom and baby sleep together they go through sleep patterns simultaneously. So when mom sleeps deeply, so does baby. Also, the baby takes cues from mom's sleep pattern. If she breathes deeply, the baby mimics. I don't know how much of this is scientifically proven, but I tried this yesterday morning before Maiya woke. When I took a deep breath she immediately followed with her own!

Cosleeping in other cultures in completely normal. Moms in South America are probably keeping it to themselves when they put their baby in a crib. Interesting fact (which I found in one of my textbooks) is that in countries where cosleeping is the norm, there are far fewer reports of sleeping troubles than there are here in the US.

To me, cosleeping during the early months makes perfect sense. As the baby is learning to trust, mom and dad are always present. Then, as he or she gets older and starts to develop a sense of autonomy it seems like a logical time to gradually transition to independent sleep. Of course, as in most areas of parenting, this transition is easier said than done. I realize cosleeping isn't for everyone, but it works for us. Haven slept with us until he decided to make his first initial in our bed (sleeping horizontally between us, forcing us to the far edges of the bed). When it's time to move on, we'll move on, but for now, we 're enjoying our little cuddly girl in our bed.