Times two.

You get it when you get it. Three of my friends are about to get it. And then they'll get it. But until you get it, you don't get it.

When you get him or her, I should say, you get it.

To clarify, when you get the Second Baby you get the craziness of managing two kids.

I am telling you right now that today the manager at the grocery store most certainly not get it.

Lately I've grocery shopped in the evenings when I can go with just one child, or, sometimes, gloriously alone. Today, however, we were very low on food supplies and since we're such food lovers, I decided to venture to the store with both babies.

(Yes, in a lot of ways Haven is still a baby. But don't tell him I said that. He considers himself a B'Boy. When I ask him if he is a baby he says very confidently, "Not a baby -- Maiya." However, until I can safely allow him to walk through the grocery store next to the shopping cart I will continue to call him a baby in my mind.)

Once we parked, I strapped Maiya into the carrier and Haven into the shopping cart seat. We were about half way through the store when I noticed black streaks all over Haven's shirt and arms and cheeks. There was something all over the cart that was now all over my boy. I dug to the bottom of the shopping cart, through my gigantic bag and retrieved the wipes. They served to smear the blackness into a grey fog. You havegottobe kidding me.

As we checked out I peeped, "I don't mean to complain, but there was something all over the cart--" The woman was very kind and appropriately flabergasted and called the manager. The manager that did not get it, as I mentioned.

He saw the mess and said ... "We'll take care of the cleaning bill for the shirt."

I was not looking for any compensation, but I was shocked by this offer. Cleaning bill? Are you suggesting that I'm going to take this little boy's Old Navy t-shirt to the dry cleaner? And then come back here and give you the bill? Please look at us - I have a sleepy 9-month-old whining and attached to my hip and a toddler covered in junk after a quick trip through the grocery store. Do we look like the kind of people who get through errands quickly? Trust me, you won't see a cleaning bill from us. I didn't actually say any of this, I might mention.

We got home and after I carried the groceries and kiddos inside, I realized that there was not only grease on my shirt as well as Haven's, but blood too. Is this some kind of joke?! I could not locate a source of this blood on any of us. Okay...

I changed Haven's shirt and scrubbed his face and arms. I read him two books (an extra because he was so well behaved at the grocery store despite the poor circumstances) and put him in bed. I put Maiya down for her nap, which included nursing her, killing a bee and changing her clothes because I found a streak of blood down her shirt too (still no source).

It was then that I remembered that I bought ice cream at the grocery store and it was still in one of the bags. Sorry about the freezer burn, Dave. This gets better and better.

Thus Grocery Shopping became an event. I will now finish this blog and go do the subsequent laundry that occured due to our trip.