Our Empathic Little Guy

We were out late. 8:30 pm. Haven was in the shopping cart and we were perusing Sport's Authority for free weights. While Dave calculated how expensive the number of pounds he can lift would be at $.99/pound, I watched Haven watch other shoppers. A distracted woman walked by and Haven bestowed upon her his toothy, attention-grabber grin. The one that grabs Dave or my attention anytime he does it.


The woman just walked by. Not a glance at The Cute One.


I watched Haven's face, and the grin faded as he watched the woman walk away. I wanted to grab him and tell him that I will always think he is an adorable, perfect miracle. Instead, I contained myself, and watched as he processed. More than how much I don't want him to feel rejection, I want him to be able to handle it when he does.


We are realizing that we've got a sensitive boy on our hands. The other day Dave and I were going back and forth about who came up with which of Haven's nicnames. I said I came up with Pumps, he said he first called him Pumpkin, which is where I got Pumps. We must have sounded pretty enthusiastic because Haven looked at both of us and broke into tears.


Our house is generally quiet and we change the TV channel if somebody is yelling or crying (as this has also caused him to cry). I think maybe this child loves him some peace.


Yesterday one of his little friends was at our house - she's weeks old - and Haven dropped a remote control right next to her. She was startled and began to cry. Haven cried too.


Today we were with another of his friends and she played in her exersaucer while Haven tore through their house inspecting anything he could get his hands on. Anyway, at one point she cried when her mommy left the room. My son's eyebrows furrowed and he reached out both of his arms and tried to hug her over the exersaucer. Then, when that didn't stop her tears, he cried with her.


I wonder if this co-crying will vanish with a couple of weeks of living with an infant. I imagine it will. I don't imagine that his sensitive nature will vanish, though.


I want to teach him to be proactive about his feelings and to think about other people. I want him to learn to think beyond the first things that come to mind. I would have loved to say to him the other night, "Why do you think that woman didn't acknowledge your cute face? Maybe she's very busy. What do you think she's busy doing?" Or about his friends, "It is very sad that your friend is sad, how can you help her?" I want to teach him to use that kind, gentle heart as it was created to be used.