I have no friends with babies. I've complained about this before, I know. I have some friends with babies, but none who lives within a 3 hour drive from my house. I have one pregnant friend close by and one who might get pregnant within a year. So there is hope that I will not always feel like the only mom under 40 in New Jersey.
Anyway, this morning I set out to make some mommy friends. Haven and I went to the Mom's Club. I made a mental note to not tell anybody that Haven goes to daycare part time, lest they ban him (me!) for the germs.
Haven sat on the rug and played. A little girl grabbed his toys from him and dangled them over his head. He was pissed at first, then entertained. He reached for another baby's juice, nodded at a fellow pre-crawler and was overloaded by the time we left. I eyed the women in the room as if we were at a bar and I was looking for a date. Let's face it, I was looking for a date. Many dates. Let's see ... Too talkative. Too weird. Too proud of her average child. Too insecure. Too obsessed with Mom's Club. Hm ... she looks normal to me ... One mama had a baby a little bit younger than Haven. She couldn't have been 30. He hair was imperfect and she smiled just enough. She asked a few questions, she left quickly when it was over. Good. Confident, not too needy but aware of her need for friends. Perfect. I'll get her number next time.
I try to surround myself with people I would be happy to resemble. I guess I'm picky when it comes to friends, but this is a lesson I've learned the hard way. One of my friends said it well: as you get older, friendship is usually more about quality than quantity. So, I'm looking for one good friend to call when Haven just won't take a nap and I need somebody to look me in the eye and tell me I'm doing the right thing with him. Somebody to have over for lunch to talk shop. I hope it happens.
4 comments:
Wish I lived closer to you. I think we would hit it off as friends. I believe you are doing the right things with Haven. Its so hard when you are a first time mom. I remember with Brooklyn always worrying about what I was teaching her, if I was correcting her the right way and if I would ever be one of those "cool" moms when she was older. By the time the second one comes along, you don't give a rip as much. Not that you don't care about your child but that you know you don't have to always buy the expensive diapers or the perfect clothes or always look like little Miss Betty Crocker. I know there are days where you just want to hang up the towel and tell someone they really should make an owner's manual for these little cuties but until then, that's what you have us for. If you are ever having one of those days, call me. I know we may never meet in person but I am just a phone call away. 605-886-6949. Just remember, I work all day so its best to reach me at night if you want. Hang in there!!!
This cracks me up. I have to wonder, if you didn't know me...and I was one of those women in your 'bar scene', how would I rate? Would I be too weird, too perky, too proud, too clingy... Or "all of the above. avoid at all costs." *laughing hard*
I'm with you on the "quality time" thing. so true. so true. And then I think it gets to the point where you know you COULD have quality time with a certain person...just not at the moment with seven children between the two of you hanging around. So you hold your breath and hang onto the hope that one day you will actually have that quality time you've been waiting for. *grin*
still wish you lived closer. there are OODLES of young moms here. tempted? ;)
I was thinking exactly what Christin said. :) I wonder what you would have thought of me. "Look at her, when was the last time SHE showered? Whats with the screaming baby on her hip?" hahaha Not criticizing your method of friendship picking, I've done the same thing. Worked for me. Maybe we need to start a new online dating service for moms. :)
Hope your 2nd time out brings you a wonderful friend.
Jennifer ~ thanks for the support!
Christin & Val ~ I realized I sound way too critical in this post. Haha. I feel like I could write a book on people from New Jersey and how different they are from other people I know. Seriously, if I meet somebody from somewhere else I can tell they didn't grow up here immediately. So ... maybe I should have just scanned the room and said, "Too Jersey." (jersey people: i realize SOME of you are normal. i mean, i did marry one.)
Post a Comment