Pregnancy changes you, but it is the bundle of a person that you prepare for. You know you will change emotionally. You expect your schedule, finances and priorities to alter. Turns out it changes you physically much more than I expected. Nobody prepares you for the havoc that once was your body.
When I got home from the hospital after Haven was born, I would not think about what was going on under my gigantic t-shirts and sweat pants. I knew either everything would return to normal or I would have a marathon crying session at some point. My hand and arm were deeply bruised from the IV, my back was riddled with holes and bruises from the epidural, my still-bulging tummy was slashed and sewn where Haven made his own exit door, my face was a puffy marshmallow ... I won't get into the other things. If you've had a baby you know and if you haven't, trust me, you don't want to.
It is now four months later and I still barely recognize myself in photographs. Well, I do, but with a grimace. I don't say this to elicit "you look great!" comments. Really. And, PS, anyone who said I looked great while I was still in the hospital no longer has merit with me. Come to think of it ... I don't think anyone did say I looked great in the hospital. THANKS A LOT. You now feel sorry for Dave that he has to live with me through this.
In her blog, Christin mentioned feeling like aliens took over her body since she's had children (or something to that effect). I guess most Moms have felt this way. I imagine it's like looking in the mirror when you're old and thinking, "Where did that face come from?" It's gotta still be me under all this craziness.
One tiny glimmer of hope: these traumatic physical changes that we women undergo now make it easier for us to adjust psychologically as we age. Unlike men, we are used to our bodies changing and confounding us (it all starts around age 12!). If that is any hope at all, I'm not sure. I'm almost ready for that marathon crying session.
3 comments:
This made me laugh :) Yeah...I'm thinking it's nature's way of encouraging procreation. Meaning, suddenly I'm thinking "hey, I can get pregnant again. *shrug* That way I have REASON to be floppy and...well, large. And people will genuinely think I'm attractive because I'm SUPPOSED to be fat. You know, for the baby's health and all."
It's a sick cycle. (well, not the having a baby part...just the sudden skewing of logic that comes with it)
But trust me...it DOES go away. One day. By nature and time or by nuture and the knife (ie. the plastic surgeon) hee hee
You didn't mention the boobs!! The stretch marks on the boobs!! hahah
I just wanted to throw that in--hee.
I think Christin's right. It's definitely time to start on another. YOU NOT ME! I've done my fair share of populating the world.
Christin, maybe I'll start stashing some money away for a rendevu with a plastic surgeon once I've had all of my babies... I like that idea.
Karen, no, it's not time for another one yet. You don't think I'm busy enough?! Also, do you remember our apartment? Where, oh where, would I put another little person?
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